• "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
  • "You don’t become completely free by just avoiding to be a slave; you also need to avoid becoming a master."
  • "(T)he heroic summons — namely, to lift off the intimate other the unfinished business of my own life. This I call heroic because it asks me to assume a burden much larger than feels comfortable. It asks that we outgrow the dependent part that is covertly eager to have someone take care of us. So we seek, unconsciously, to convert our partners into the good parent, the one who takes the task of self-esteem, of personal accountability, the responsibility for meeting most of our own needs, off our shoulders."
  • "There is no love that's so right as admiration-based love."
  • "There are plenty of failed marriages where the parties are still together."
  • "I tell my kids: don't date a girl you want.  Date a girl who wants you.  She'll treat you better."
  • "Be a good ender."
  • "Get to rejection quickly."
  • "Love is given, not received."
  • "Invest in those who invest in you."
  • "Invest and then test."
  • "The heart decides, the head rationalizes."
  • "Just as in matters of seduction, people lend the most to those who need them the least."
  • "Non-attachment doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means that you consciously work at being equally okay with every possible outcome."
  • “When you’re single you date other singles.  And when you’re a couple you date other couples.”
  • "Raising children: we are the stewards of their sovereignty."
  • "Behind every criticism, there’s often a wish."
  • "Love longs for closeness; desire thrives on distance."
  • "Don’t we all know why Brian Stevenson held on? Once his feet were off the ground, he was caught in a loss aversion loop from which the last chance to escape was always already gone. The transition from lending a hand, to holding on for dear life, to the soaring realization that the holding on may have been a fatal mistake probably took no more than a few seconds, but I’d bet that every one of those seconds Stevenson was thinking: “I should’ve let go before. It’s too late now.” Haven’t we all been caught in such traps? Who hasn’t been in a situation that seemed to make sense at the time, but that ultimately made no sense at all? Who hasn’t been mired in a toxic relationship with someone we love too much to leave right now, tonight?"