No More Mr. Nice Guy

  • Be good beginner - and a good ender.  If, after two or three dates, you're not really feeling it, end it, civilly and firmly.
  • Set boundaries, and stand up to women.  If female behavior is occurring that is inappropriate - often known as a "shit test" - speak it, and clarify how things have to be if this is going to continue.
  • Make your life a wonderful cake - with women as the icing.
  • Be assertive in your opinions and outlook on life.  Stand up for the way you look at the world, and let women walk who are not interested in that.
  • If you receive low interest signals, accept that, be grateful to know that, and move on.
  • No attachment to outcome - your life with be fun and enjoyable regardless, and there are plenty of women out there.
  • Women desire male leadership and confidence - when they don't receive that, some of their worst tendencies arise.
  • Women have a preternatural ability to sense male neediness: a knowledge that a man needs her for a full, whole life.
  • Emotional intimacy does not often portend to great sex.  Polarity and tension are the keys to desire and romance.  (Perhaps my most-common pursuing mistake: going too deeply into emotional subjects, focusing too little on humor, fun, and lacking all assertiveness).
  • Interdependence - not codependence - is the goal.
  • Remember the three T's to gauge interest: touch, tease, tell.
  • Maintain frame, lead - and no pounding on a closed door.
  • Cultivate an "I'll handle it" mentality.

My Five Must Haves:

  • Enjoy and am comfortable spending long periods of time just with them
  • Desires me physically and sexually
  • Inner compass directing to them
  • Fundamentally interested in being with me, and chooses me, rather than using me to achieve some personal agenda
  • They desire me

My Five Must Not Haves:

  • Is unavailable
  • Decreases quality of interactions with friends and family
  • Cannot speak rather deeply on subjects
  • Lacks character and integrity
  • Rushes me into major life decisions